A Perl script is correct if it's halfway readable and it gets the job done before your boss fires you.

Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi.

I wanted Perl to work smoothly in the way that natural languages work smoothly, not in the way that mathematics works smoothly.

Personally, I like to defiantly split my infinitives.

Psychotics are consistently inconsistent. The essence of sanity is to be inconsistently inconsistent.

The purpose of most computer languages is to lengthen your resume by a word and a comma.

UNIX is like a toll road on which you have to stop every 50 feet to pay another nickel. But hey! You only feel 5 cents poorer each time.

Usenet is essentially Letters to the Editor without the editor. Editors don't appreciate this, for some reason.

We all agree on the necessity of compromise. We just can't agree on when it's necessary to compromise.

What is the sound of Perl? Is it not the sound of a wall that people have stopped banging their heads against?

With computer languages, about 75% of the bandaids have a bullet hole underneath.