A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
A statesman is any politician it's safe to name a school after.
Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income -- which he then spends sending his son to college.
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Not only do the children enjoy these games which involve buying and selling with play money, but they learn an essential ingredient of motivation in our society: greed.
People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.
Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich, and healthy. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
The tax collector must love poor people -- he's creating so many of them.
The Vice Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along to all our picnics.
A Kansas City guy makes the list! And a good one too. His suburbia quote is among my all-time favorites.