Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?
How about the pictures this year? Sex. persecution, adultery, cannibalism -- we'll get those kids away from the TV sets yet. (At the 1960 Academy Awards)
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
I love to see politicians pray. It keeps their hands out where you can see what they're doing.
It's not hard to find Jerry Ford on a golf course -- you just follow the wounded.
No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.
Once in the Yukon, I asked an audience, 'Would you like to hear Jayne Mansfield sing?' And a GI shouted back, 'I'd be satisfied to see her breathe!'
The Los Angeles Times gave George Bush a C on his 100 days in office. No one knows what Dan Quayle got. He claims he lost his report card on his way home from the White House.
To give you an idea of how fast we traveled -- we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
Welcome to a show dedicated to the proposition that jealousy and envy shall not perish from the earth. (At the 1970 Academy Awards)
You don't see me at Vegas or at the races throwing my money around. I've got a government to support.
You know, all during the years, people have tried to describe Bing's voice, but I think my grandmother came closest of all. She says it sounds like a passionate cow being milked with suede gloves.
Sure he's corny. Sure he didn't write his own stuff. And sure, he was from my grandparents' generation. But these are good lines....and you can not read them without hearing his voice. Thanks, Bob.