Richard Dooling Quotations

Richard Dooling

Africans bathed in the streams and rivers, where they picked up schistosomiasis... where it takes up residence with colonies of hookworms, whipworms, giant intestinal roundworms, tapeworms, threadworms, amoebas, flukes, trichina, spirochetes, plasmodia, microbacteria, and a host of other parasites which inhabit humans living in warm moist climates, turning them into savage planets teeming with colonies of organisms... In America, humans usually are not food for worms until they die; in Africa, the worms move in early and stake their claims in advance of the big day.

Any doctor devoted to Nephrology (the study of kidneys) will tell you that the human body is really nothing but a primitive go-cart containing a simple pump, wires, tubes, cables, a blob of gray matter functioning as a rudimentary battery, two gas bags, various units concerned with food processing and reproduction -- all nothing but a transport and reproduction mechanism for two highly sophisticated little electrochemical miracles called kidneys, organs that make the most advanced computers look like clumsy racks of on-off switches.

Eye shadows are what separate the amateurs from the pros. Rookies put one or two colors on. Depending on the job, models can put four or five different shadows on.

[His] initial instinct was to take her to task over the structure of her arguments, but he quickly apprehended that, to do that, he would have to drain the swamp of her assumptions, then build a bridge connecting the two halves of her brain. He would have to explain to her that "superficial" is not a synonym for "hypocritical" and that he could not stand by and leave the English language defenseless while she worked it over with a food processor.

In college, he had read that God was dead. In medical school, he learned that God was not dead, He was just very sick...Once God gets to feeling better, He can go back to thinking of Himself as a doctor, in much the same way that doctors think of themselves as God.

People like to think that death changes everything. They think of it as moving into a big magnificent house. But people who move into big, magnificent houses stay pretty much the same. If they were unhappy before they moved, they will be unhappy in the big magnificent house. Death is the same way. People like to think they live one way; then they will die and live a totally different life.