I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds -- they mature slowly.

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance.

The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked up in the safe.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.

They preened themselves on their ignorance of those areas of life familiarity with which would stigmatize them as commonplace.

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones.