Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

Everybody was up to something, especially, of course, those who were up to nothing.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

Having to read a footnote resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I can take any amount of criticism, so long as it is unqualified praise.

I have always been very fond of them (drama critics)...I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night to the theatre and know so little about it.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

I'm an enormously talented man, and there's no use pretending that I'm not.

I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I've sometimes thought of marrying -- and then I've thought again.

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

She stopped the show -- but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

There is always something so delightfully real about what is phony here. And something so phony about what is real. (re: Hollywood)

Time has convinced me of one thing: Television is for appearing on--not for looking at.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat, like caviar. Never spread it around like marmalade.

You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday

Looks like Kevin Spacey, doesn't he. But had more talent in each finger than all the people working on any Spacey project had all together.